The Story of Nora Anastasia, born on 08.09.2024 in Kyiv
1. Introduction
- Name: Daniel and Franziska from Germany
- Both parents are from the Berlin region
- Our daughter Nora Anastasia is currently about 15 months, or 1 ¼ years old
2. The Beginning of Our Journey
- How did we learn about surrogacy as a possible option for our desire to have children? How did we first hear about VittoriaVita?
We had already been through a long journey of unfulfilled desire for children when we first heard about surrogacy. This was preceded by countless attempts to conceive naturally.
When this repeatedly didn’t work, we tried several fertility clinics in our region. Methods such as artificial fertilization like IVF (in vitro fertilization) and ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection) were used, and we hoped they would give us greater chances of carrying a child.
When several attempts using these methods also didn’t work, we even considered adopting a child or becoming foster parents. Participation in these programs takes quite a long time in Germany, as you have to go through a multi-stage process in which you must, among other things, prove your suitability as parents. Ultimately, we decided against it because we were asked to give up our own desire to have children. We weren’t ready for that at the time.
We then learned about surrogacy through social media as probably our last option to still have our own child. At that time, a special fair was held in Germany at certain intervals, the so-called “Kinderwunschtage” (fertility days) in Cologne. We considered going there to contact various surrogacy providers. At some point during this time, we first heard about the provider VittoriaVita.
3. Why We Chose VittoriaVita
We liked the fact that the VittoriaVita agency is centrally located in Kyiv, Ukraine. There are other Ukrainian providers, but some of them, for example, are based in Kharkiv in the far east of the country. From our perspective, Kyiv was easier to reach.
Another option we had considered at that time was hiring an agency in the USA. However, from our perspective, there were some decisive disadvantages: first, the distance would have been much greater, which would also mean more time needed to travel back and forth. Also, the expected costs for surrogacy would have been many times higher (six-figure amounts were being discussed). We couldn’t and didn’t want to afford that. Ultimately, we decided against the USA option.
How did you find us (recommendation, internet, social networks, forum)?
We learned about VittoriaVita through various sources, including social media (Facebook) and the fertility days mentioned above.
What did you like about the first contacts?
In the first conversations, we appreciated that all our questions were taken seriously and answered calmly and thoroughly. If you’ve had little or no previous contact with the topic of surrogacy, you’re automatically a bit uncertain at first and have many questions, such as:
- Is this procedure even legal if it’s legally forbidden in your home country (in our case, Germany)?
- Is it also safe? Can you really get a child this way, or will you just experience one disappointment after another, like the many previous attempts at artificial fertilization?
- How high are the expected costs? Will we be able to afford them?
- How do we get to Ukraine and back? How long will we need to stay there? Is our own vacation and free time enough for this?
- How will we be able to communicate there if we don’t speak the local language? Can we speak English or even German with the agency?
All these concerns were addressed in the initial consultation, which meant we were confident afterward that VittoriaVita could be a suitable solution for our unfulfilled desire to have children.
What was the decisive factor?
The decisive factor was that the “complete package” offered by VittoriaVita contained all the important points for us and was still affordable. Our personal coordinator Ivanna Olefir communicated with us in perfect German, which we very much appreciated. We could ask questions at any time and they were thoroughly answered. Therefore, in the summer of 2021, we decided that we would pursue the path of surrogacy together with VittoriaVita!
4. How the Program Progressed
The first steps (visit, documents, getting to know the manager)
Both my wife Franziska and I made our way to the Ukrainian capital Kyiv in the fall of 2021 to sign the contract with a Ukrainian notary and then hand over our material (egg cells and sperm) to the fertility clinic IVMed. At that time, travel was still relatively easy, as direct flights from Berlin to Kyiv were available. It wasn’t until February 2022 that the entire procedure became much more difficult due to the Russian invasion of the country, but more on that later.
We both remember well our first meeting with our coordinator Ivanna. For me, the husband, it was on October 29, 2021 at Kyiv-Boryspil Airport. The agency, in the form of Ivanna and the driver, picked me and my wife up to take us to VittoriaVita’s accommodation on Solomianska Street. In such moments, you’re truly grateful for the support with transportation and accommodation. We will both never forget this, so thanks here to everyone on the VittoriaVita team!
The most emotional moments (meeting with the surrogate mother, ultrasound, birth)
For me, Daniel, the most emotional moment was actually on the one hand the moment when our daughter Nora was handed over to us at “Kyiv city maternity hospital №5,” and on the other hand, when we first met our surrogate mother Anastasia upon her discharge from the clinic. She was a truly wonderful, brave, and humble young woman to whom we will be forever grateful for what she undertook for us.
Now a few words about Russia’s war against Ukraine:
The invasion in February 2022 (and also the conflict before that since 2014) deeply affected us. Since then, we have tried to support Ukraine where we could and made monetary and material donations (such as first aid kits for Ukrainian soldiers).
We even wrote a letter to the German Chancellor, Olaf Scholz at the time, asking him to provide stronger military support to Ukraine. The Federal Chancellery even wrote back to us, thanking us for our message and assuring us that “everything would be done to enable Ukraine to defend itself against the aggressor Russia.”
We see this somewhat differently, so I have significantly increased my participation in military training and further education to also make a statement.
We ourselves experienced some of the Russian attacks on the capital Kyiv and the associated restrictions (air alarms, constant stays in shelters, sleep deprivation, etc.) during our stay. We therefore understand that the war is an extreme burden for the Ukrainian civilian population, but especially of course for the soldiers on the front. We very much hope that this war will end soon under conditions favorable to Ukraine and that a normalization of everyday life can then take place.
Support from the team
The VittoriaVita team, and especially Ivanna, supported us fully at all times, both with the transfer from the airport to the accommodation (see above), the trip to the notary, to the fertility clinic, and with all questions and concerns we had. We really had nothing to complain about regarding the care, and we can warmly recommend the VV agency to all future parents who desire children.
Particularly noteworthy is the following situation: In spring 2022, all of our own embryos from previous surrogacy attempts had been used up and none were left for new transfer attempts. This put us in the difficult position of how to create new embryos on site when the Russian invasion had just started and a visit to the location was no longer possible due to the war. However, my wife Franziska still had some of her own embryos in storage at a fertility clinic near us.
VittoriaVita supported us greatly by recommending an excellent transport company that brought the embryos, deeply frozen, from Germany to Ukraine. They also handled all the formalities involved in such a transport of biological material from an EU to a non-EU country. Thanks for that too!
5. Phase of Legalization in Your Country
How did the process of document creation proceed?
The first document our daughter was to receive while still in Ukraine was a provisional travel passport, for which the German Embassy on Bohdana Khmelnytskoho Street was responsible in our case. This process took quite a long time for us due to the Russian invasion since February 24, 2022, extending into autumn 2024, as the embassy had reduced staff for security reasons and therefore could only operate on an emergency basis.
We had to wait a total of about 3.5 weeks from our daughter’s birth until the travel document was issued as a passport substitute. During this time, however, we tried to make use of it by visiting the various parks and gardens of Kyiv with Nora. We even went to the zoo with her once! Whether she picked up much from all the animals there (flamingos, gorillas, elephants, etc.), we can’t say for sure, as she slept a lot at that time 😊
When we returned to Germany in early October 2024, we first went to the local registration office to register her. Everything went quite smoothly and uncomplicated, as the responsible employee had already heard about the topic of “surrogacy in Ukraine” and we had already made contact with him beforehand to explain our situation.
The creation of the German birth certificate was completed within a few days. In this document, of course, Kyiv was listed as the place of birth and the surrogate mother Anastasia as the mother. We had already decided beforehand to pursue the path of adoption in Germany rather than to obtain a court ruling in Ukraine that would then be legally recognized at home.
How much time did the procedure take?
The adoption procedure for our daughter by her biological mother, my wife Franziska, ultimately took about a whole year. During this time, we had to fill out many documents. We had to state, among other things, why we wanted to adopt Nora, how large our home is, how much we earn, what our family tree looks like, what we’ve done in our lives so far, and many other things.
Ultimately, everything worked out here too, and a local court recently confirmed that my wife Franziska adopted our daughter Nora and thus became her legal mother. We are truly very happy about that!
Did any difficulties arise and if so, how did we solve them?
Of course, there were always small and larger hurdles to overcome along the way. For example, my wife was supposed to write a “life report” and send this and other documents to the adoption placement agency that was responsible for the procedure. We did this in a timely manner.
Then nothing happened for a long time — no one from there contacted us. After about three months, we then asked how things stood with the procedure and whether any additional documents were needed. They then told us that they had sent us a letter with additional documents for us to process and fill out. But that letter never reached us!
We then asked for the documents to be sent to us in electronic form, via email, which then worked. But we were a bit annoyed about those “lost” three months…
6. The Result
Your feelings when you held your child in your arms for the first time
The feelings you have when you hold your own child in your arms for the first time are very difficult to describe. It’s a moment of the greatest happiness and maximum joy, but at the same time, to be honest, we also felt uncertainty about whether we were equal to the responsibility that would accompany us for many years to come.
However, the feeling will be somewhat different for everyone, so one can’t assume that it will be the same for everyone in this situation. For us, however, despite all the difficulties, sleep deprivation, and occasional exhaustion, the positive feelings of now being parents clearly outweigh everything else 😊
How life changed after the program
Of course, life changes with a small child compared to the situation before. The day becomes more structured, of course, and it’s now less often possible, for example, to just spontaneously go out with friends. But you get many small moments of daily happiness, whether it’s the first smile, the first sounds or words, or simply the moments when you can play with the child and have fun. From our perspective, it’s definitely worth giving up those other moments and experiences!
Do you maintain contact with the surrogate mother (if that was your mutual wish)?
We continue to maintain contact with surrogate mother Anastasia and very much want to do so in the future. Every 8th of each month, Anastasia writes to us and asks how we’re all doing, or she tells us about her son and what they’ve experienced together and such things.
We are very happy and also very proud that we maintain such regular and good contact with the surrogate mother, and we would very much like to tell our daughter Nora the whole story of her “creation” later when she’s old enough, and about all the little and big things that happened to us along the way. We gave her the middle name Anastasia out of gratitude to the surrogate mother.
Who knows, perhaps in the future there will even be a chance for her to meet her surrogate mother Anastasia in person, for example in her hometown in Ukraine? That would make us truly overjoyed.
7. Wishes for Future Parents
Words of support for those just beginning their journey
We wish all future parents who begin a surrogacy program with VittoriaVita every strength and confidence in the world, especially perseverance during this difficult time. There will be setbacks, there will be despair and fear, but you should always look forward nonetheless to keep the actual goal in sight. We know what we’re talking about — we ourselves experienced enough setbacks. But ultimately, it was worth continuing with the project; we see that now every day with our “little miracle” Nora.
If you just believe strongly enough, and with such a wonderful team from VittoriaVita, then you can really achieve anything. Hang in there!
Yours, Daniel, Franziska, and Nora
Translated from German