We turned to the VictoriaVita agency on the recommendations of our friends. Six months before the start of our program,their twins were born in Ukraine, so we were aware of the features of the program, payments, paperwork, etc. When we started the program, we told our family about it. It was risky))
Most of them are very religious and still believe that we have committed a sin. We were accused and discouraged for a long time, they told us that it’s against God’s will.
In general, this conversation really made us nervous)) But we did not persuade them. We forced them to face this fact and asked to accept our decision. I do not think that all of them made peace with that, but this is not our problem. We are happy. We also warned our closest friends that we were expecting a child. Although it grows in another woman)) By the way, we had a difficult time with a surrogate mother, but more on that later. The fact that we were so honest, eventually played into the hands. We learned a lot of interesting things about various “children’s” things from friends and more loyal relatives . For example, what to do if a child has diarrhea or sour eyes, how to wash his nose, how to handle the navel. We were given contacts of good pediatricians, nannies. Friends gave us a bunch of things that their children didn’t need any more. So we had strollers, a crib, a bath, a mattress, a baby sling, a special bagel pillow, a baby monitor, tons of vests and rattles.
How to communicate with a surrogate mother
We had a difficult psychological moment with a surrogate mother. At first we did not want to communicate with her. I mean during her pregnancy. My wife, and I had a feeling of jealousy or something. Here she is, another woman, who carries our baby! And we can’t do it ourselves! On the one hand, we were glad that the pregnancy had come, on the other hand, it was insulting and painful. Therefore, in the first month of pregnancy, we learned about the state of health of the surrogate mother only through our manager Ira. Over time, this feeling has passed. When you see a tiny spot on the ultrasound, which is already your child, it is impossible to get angry.
It turned out that our surrogate mother is very cool. There was no arrogance in her, and she did not flaunt that she was doing something special. Therefore, in the end, we became friends.
Dress warmly for childbirth))
Our daughter was supposed to be born in February. Don’t mess with the Ukrainian winter)) Seriously))
Our manager, Ira, sent a list of things that the child would need. In it, except for the clothes and bottles, there were warm overalls, hats and a portable cradle. It is a pity that Ira did not send the same list for us)) We arrived in winter clothes, but we were constantly freezing outside.If you live in Italy, Portugal or Spain, keep this in mind. It turned out that our winter and the Ukrainian winter are two different winters. The temperature was under -17 С. I derived the ideal formula: T-shirt + warm sweater + cardigan + jacket. On top of everything else – a hat and scarf. Ukrainians wear just a thin sweater, but their coats are much warmer.
But I got distracted)) So, what to take with you? Parents in principle do not need anything.
VittoriaVita provides you with everything. In the apartment where we lived, we had: baby crib, bath, stroller. For the first time you only need clothes for the baby and feeding bottles. Diapers and mixtures can be bought in Ukraine, they are of high quality. We didn’t bring baby bottle sterilizers and other fashionable gadgets. Overall, it is better to take a minimum of personal items. After returning home, we had an excess baggage. As far as I know, it happens to all parents. Take the essentials, in extreme cases, buy the missing ones in Ukraine.
The first emotions and the first diapers
The first days after discharge from the hospital – the most unusual time in my life) It seemed to me that I had long been ready to become a father. But I had no idea how strong are these emotions. It was as if a litere of endorphin was injected into me. It seems that all the love that you have is multiplied a hundred times and concentrated in one small three-kilogram person. This little man causes such emotions that you are ready to suffocate from tenderness. An immense happiness is born in your chest that you cannot let it out. But there is a flipside, a domestic one. Most of the time my daughter slept, ate and pooped. Every time I changed the diaper, I was surprised how it all fits in such a little person)) My wife and I were scared of so many things. Most of all I was afraid to “hurt” my daughter when I changed her diapers or fed her. I was afraid to take her head incorrectly or twist the arm while I was dressing her. My wife was afraid of dropping our daughter when she passed her into my arms or to our nanny. And then colic began – the most unpleasant thing in babies’ life. The worst thing is that you are helpless. Neither drops, nor massages or rectal tubes help much. You just hear your baby crying and wait until she calms down. It is very difficult, especially at night.
But when you take your daughter in your arms, all the troubles and exhaustion fade away. A liter of endorphin in the blood hits you again))
Pros and cons of VV
In general, we are very pleased with the program. We had no conflicts with either the agency or the clinic. The staff of VittoriaVita are cool, the programs are well thought out, and lawyers are helping to arrange documents. I don’t want to talk a lot about it, the website has it all.
I’ll tell you what future parents may not know.
The first plus is the apartment. I have already said that it has everything for the child. In addition, there are grocery supermarkets, children’s stores, restaurants near the apartment. The second plus is that we rarely went to supermarkets. The driver brought the products, and the maid prepared the food. She helped with our daughter if we asked. Third, I want to note a couple of points. For example, during our stay in Ukraine, we were given a phone with a local SIM card. We could call up with our manager. Also in Ukraine there is a very fast mobile Internet, which we did not expect at all. They also gave us a photo session with a child and a special baby book. This is a special a box with compartments, where we will store the first hair of the baby, the first tooth. That is, we felt that they’ were taking care of us.You do not expect anything – and they just do something for you!
It is difficult to find cons, we had no problems. The embassy delayed the issuance of documents for a child for a week, but I would not call it a minus. We do not take offense at this neither VittoriaVita, nor the Embassy. Seriously. We have our child in our arms, and if we had to wait longer, we would wait. We would even have passed the surrogacy program again, if we had to. Our daughter is worth it. I wish all women and men to experience such happiness. The time and money you spent is worth it, your child is much more valuable. My wife and I thank the VittoriaVita agency. You are wonderful!